Sorry, those lyrics that were pounded into my brain a zillion times during my youth have a permanent place in there. All I remember is that line, and I don't even know what the song was about. Probably fornication. Most of those rock tunes are. Either that, or a drug high. But I digress.
What I am actually thinking about is whether to stay, or go to the doctor.
This has always almost always been a problem for us, and it would have been a lot worse up until now except for the fact that God has given us an exceptionally healthy family. How do you decide when to go? I think I can recognize an emergency. It's the non-emergency, but becoming urgent, medical situations that get me.
Amy has had diarrhea for over a week, and although she feels starved she doesn't eat, because everything immediately goes through her. She has lost 10 lbs that she didn't need to lose. She had a fever early on, but only for a few hours. She is beginning to look pale and skinny (er). And she doesn't feel tops. Here is my line of thinking:
Could it be food poisoning? Probably not. We have all eaten the same things and the rest of us are fine. A virus? Maybe. But weird one. Could it be Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis or Celiac disease? Probably not. But what if it is?
Maybe I should take her in.
But if I do, that will be $125+ to see a doctor... and $???? for diagnostic tests that we can't afford, and what if they don't show anything wrong with her, in which case we will wish we had not wasted the money...
Lord Jesus, my daughter needs your healing touch, and I need your peace of mind...
I just hate it that the cost of diagnosis and treatment is a part of my decision-making. Amy is worth way more than all the money we have. Which isn't much. The money, I mean, lol.
But thinking like this has kept us in the black. I could have had kids in for tests for diabetes, Celiac, obesity, allergies, ear infections, etc, and we'd be broke just from the diagnostic testing. But patience has always proved that we didn't need it. I think the medical industry is wacko on spending other people's money, whether that is insurance money or private funds. I don't want money stress on top of health stress. And I hate having to admit that I even hesitate to help my daughter because of it.
Amy is sick...
Have I been patient long enough? Too patient? Am I heartless? Prudent? Foolish?
I am really good at casting my cares upon Jesus with a big rubber band attached. They always come flying back at me.