The Desire of My Heart ♥

Pilgrim's Progress -- Christian's burden of sin falls off at the cross of Christ.

Many years ago, before we had any children, I was talking to the Lord one day about the family Gary and I might have someday. I told him that day that I couldn't imagine a worse thing than to bring kids into the world only for them to grow up and die and go to hell.  Realizing this meant he might take my babies from the womb early or even as children, I told God I didn't want him to give me any children who would not trust his Son and be eternally saved.  

Four of my babies died and went to heaven before we had Alison, and two others after we had Amy.  Miscarriage is heartbreaking, but not as heartbreaking as it would be to hear God say to your own precious children, "Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire."  I mourned, but God gave grace to believe he knew our future and theirs, and to trust him in the midst of our circumstances.

At that time I was young in the Lord.  We were new in the ministry. I might have thought then that children born to preachers were practically guaranteed a home in heaven, for they must grow up knowing all the right answers.  "Of course Jesus is the Son of God and he died for my sins.  Everyone knows that."  But it is not knowing the right answers that makes a heart right with God.  The acknowledgement and understanding of one's own sins and an humble, heart-felt desire to be rid of them is what draws the Lord to a sinner. A broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise. Psalm 51:17; God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble, 1 Peter 5:5.  And THAT can be a hard place to come to when you grow up in a home where you have been trained to put on a good outward appearance.

It can be difficult for pastor's kids to understand their own need for salvation.  We do all the things that would seem to guarantee our girls an advantage over others in spiritual matters. We are in church every time the doors are open, we pray with our kids and for our kids, we have family devotions, we practice daily Bible reading. We teach our girls to serve others and to be kind to each other. Together we live a blessed life unmarred by many sins of the flesh which cause many other families hardships and heartaches. We have heard many testimonies of men and women who were saved from alcoholism or immorality or rage or violence, but our life doesn't look like that.  A child in this home might not be able to name her sins.  "Uh... disobeying? Being impatient?"  These look like such small things in comparison, not sinful exactly, not like adultery or murder!  But yes, these are sins, too.

The problem is that our actions are not what make us sinners.  No, our sinful acts prove that we were already sinners at heart.  It is because we were born sinners that we do sinful things, whether those actions seem to us to be a big deal to God or not.  It is the sin nature that we were born with that makes us unfit for heaven without the work of Jesus Christ.  Our children need to understand that they are capable of the most wicked sin they can think of.  They were born just as sinful as the most notorious criminal on earth, and they need to have a new nature given them. Without that new nature, that new birth, they are eternally lost.  It doesn't matter that they have been protected from the outside world and kept from bad influences. The worst influence my "good" little girls have, one they can't escape or be protected from, is their own sinful heart!

Several weeks ago that realization came to Amy and Betsy.  Both of them had made professions of faith at a young age, but  they had no understanding of their hearts' own wickedness at that time.  I am sure the Lord knew those sweet little girls loved Jesus and wanted to be saved and go to heaven when they die; he was faithful. But they had to come face to face with their sins before they could be rid of them.  It is the goodness of God that leads a soul to repentance (Romans 2:4), and how very good he was that day (as he always is)!  Amy trusted Christ early one morning after a guilty, fitful night, and Betz realized the same evening that it was HER sins that required Jesus' death on the cross.  Both girls absolutely glowed with the relief of that burden lifted!

And I am rejoicing over God's faithfulness and for answered prayer! It is such a joy to me to know that God heard me so many years ago. The girls presented themselves for baptism and church membership at church this morning, and now that they've been saved already, they'll be baptized the Bible way, in a public place as a testimony of their identification with Christ, and where there is "much water" (John 3:23).  I am so blessed!!!  Thank you, Lord!

Each soul must make his/her own choice where Christ is concerned. Pilate asked, "What shall I do then with Jesus which is called Christ?"  Each of us must ask ourselves that question. Was Jesus the payment for your sins, or was he just a good man? No one is born and raised a Christian. If you think you are a Christian because you grew up going to church, you need to be saved. You are still carrying a burden of sin that is growing day by day.

If you have been the same your whole life, having the same affections, enjoying the same entertainment, holding the same outlook on life, and keeping the same company, you have not been saved. When Jesus saves a soul, he changes the person!  If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature, 2 Corinthians 5:17, Old things are passed away; behold all things are become new. If you can not think of a time in your life when you knew you were LOST, you have not been saved.

I have a heaviness in my heart for religious people who are sincere but sincerely wrong.  There are so many really nice people who are lost!  I was one.  Thank God I am no longer religious, thinking I had gained God's favor by my loyalty to a church or a creed.  Jesus saved me. He did it all.  There was nothing good in me, but everything good in Christ!  I have true Bible salvation. Forever!  I got it God's way, by his grace.  And so did my two girls. :)  Praise the Lord, he is SO good!!!

For God so loved the world,

that he gave his only begotten Son, 

that whosoever believeth in him should not perish,

but have everlasting life.

John 3:16

I have no greater joy than to know my children walk in truth.

3 John 1:4

In spite of its age, our Declaration of Independence is a most suitable response to today's Supreme Court decision on Obamacare.  That decision is not the sole basis for my feelings, of course; the citizens of our nation have already suffered "a long train of abuses and usurpations", as the document says.  I say, let's blow the dust off it and send it to Washington! Our liberties are being torn away from us left and right.  The men who are in power in this nation somehow are under the impression that they have been elected and appointed for the purpose of ruling us, the people, rather than representing us.  A "tax" for non-compliance?  The proper word for that is "fine".  Or rather, theft.  Isn't that what it's called when someone takes what is yours against your will?  

We can't get health insurance.  It's not a question of cutting something else out of the budget. Thankfully the Lord has kept us from needing any.  He has kept the "devourer" (Malachi 3:11)  from swallowing us up.  But now we'll be made to have it.  As the saying goes, "You can't get blood from a turnip."  So that means we'll eventually go to one of those concentration camps they have built out there in the wilderness, somewhere in the extreme wilds of Minnesota or Arizona.  My guess is that common criminals will still have free medical care, but Obamacare dissenters won't be given any.  We'll have to commit a good crime to get long term incarceration with free medical.... what shall it be?  Murder only gets a few years.... tax evasion?  (It would have to be for a different tax, I'm pretty sure.)

I saw this comment today, left on a news website:

Just got a quote from Blue Cross this AM on medical insurance.
For a Family of three with NO preexisting conditions, non-smoker and non drinker. It's ONLY $655 per month with a $12,000 dollar annual deductible! $655x12=$7,860 + $12,000 Deductible = $19,860 per year for insurance. Let see thats ONLY $1655 per month or $200 more per month than my Mortgage payment! At this premium it entitles each family member to ONE Doctor visit per year! Yes it's the Affordable Care Act! Before Obama care we were paying $365 a month with a $2,500 deductible. I see I am saving that $2,500 per year I was promised!

Hm.  $655 a month for three, $12,000 annual deductible (which we would never satisfy, save in the case of emergency). What could it cost for six? Oh, and this would cover us for mental illness, venereal diseases, diseases and conditions caused by obesity, and AIDS, but they won't cover me for diabetes or any complication of diabetes (which is just about everything -- heart disease, kidney disease, retinopathy, neuropathy, etc ).  How come they get to choose what they won't cover, but I don't get to choose the coverage I don't want? Well, it doesn't matter. We don't have the money anyway.

The future is looking grim, indeed.  It has me meditating on this verse:

The prudent forseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished. Proverbs 22:3

Where does one hide?  There are no frontiers left to move to, except maybe Mars.  There is nowhere to hide...

Oh, but wait!  Yes, there is a place.  A most excellent place.  

Deliver me, O LORD, from mine enemies: I flee unto thee to hide me. Psalm 143:9

The name of the LORD is a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and is safe. Proverbs 18:10

The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? [...] For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion... Psalm 27:1,5
 

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Isaiah 26:3

Okay I feel better now.  Sorry for the rant.

In case you haven't read it in a while, here's how our Declaration begins, in part. Don't just skim it.  Read it! 

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

I would say let's start this country over (with our same beloved Constitution!), but I think that as a nation, we are getting what we have deserved for a long time...  Lord, have mercy.

 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves,

and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways;

THEN will I hear from heaven,

and will forgive their sin,and will heal their land. 

2 Chronicles 7:14

Still Homeschooling

Alison may have graduated, but she's still homeschooling. :)  This week's learning projects: the skirt she is wearing in the photo (made without a pattern!) and some kind of sugar-free cocoa/peanut-butter/raisin dessert concoction, plus listening to Israeli talk radio. 

And the rest of them, well... the two younger girls were at the one room schoolhouse each morning this week, experiencing what they wish our homeschooling experience would look like -- fun!  Amy helped the neighbor kids put on a play while we moms had lunch together.  Oh how I wish I had a photo of THAT!  It was hilarious and delightful. 

So yes, we are still homeschooling.  I think we are getting the "home" part down nicely.  Now if I can just wrap my mind around the "school" part.  Maybe we need to redefine what that is, especially in light of what follows --

Next week we'll do the required standardized tests for the first time.  Public school teachers are required to teach to the test, so I thought I'd look ahead and see what we might need to review.  Get a load of this question on Amy's test.  (It's okay if I tell you. No one knows the answer except perhaps a linguist.)

The participle inflectional morpheme ending is used only with
a. conjunctions

b. adjectives

c. adverbs

d. nouns

e. verbs

Really?? Someone thinks our kids should know this?? What would that prove?  If Amy knows the answer to this question it will prove only one thing, and that is that she has nothing better to do all day than to cram her head full of grammarian tradesman's vocabulary. I'd much rather she know how to clean a bathroom, play a song on the piano, write a letter, defend a Bible doctrine, treat her sisters to Culvers, or cook supper for her family.  And not because those things are easier, but because they are WORTH KNOWING.  

Homeschooling requires constant re-focusing on worthy goals and sifting out humanistic philosophies.  It requires me to keep checking my compass, the Bible, to be sure we are on the narrow but blessed path that the Lord laid out for my family.  And it's a huge blessing that we can eliminate some of the busy work that other kids are forced to do just to keep them off the streets for several hours per day.

Thankfully I don't report our test results to anyone.  In Minnesota we have to do them annually, presumably to help homeschooling moms see where we might have holes in our kids' education.

Participle inflectional morpheme endings are a hole that we are not going to bother to fill in. The same goes for  possessive inflectional morpheme endings!

There is knowledge, and then there is knowledge...

For the LORD giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding.

Proverbs 2:6 

Blessings

Last year Elisabeth and Emily went with me to our historical society's one room schoolhouse ending program just to see the fun.  We didn't think we'd ever be able to send the girls, but it would be interesting to see what the children did there for a week.

Forward a year.  Daddy committed to the payment by faith, trusting God to supply the money and the few extra things for the girls to go.  After all, this is both fun and educational and potentially a wonderful childhood memory in the making!

Betz has an old days dress (who cares if it's the wrong century), but we needed something for Emily.  A friend in Kansas picked up a cotton dress from Goodwill, something that was not made to be a prairie dress, something no fashionable person in her right mind would ever be seen wearing in public, but that might, with some tweaking, work out in a pinch.  She would not let me pay for it.  Plain Jane had generously passed her girls' bonnets down to us a long while ago, and the larger one still fits Em.  And, while perusing the web for free a smock pattern, I came up with something that would not only make that dress into a costume, but would also cover the too-low neckline!   Mom sent me a $.69 curve-making gizmo last week and I put it to use.  A quick dig in the fabric box, a trip to WalMart for two packages of bias tape, and voila!  A complete prairie dress for less than $4! And somewhere around here I have a very old petticoat...

Emily, who at first did not want to be seen in the dress either, is now in love with her new costume.

And I am grateful to the Lord for blessing us with these things.  He didn't have to do that.  We don't deserve anything from him, and yet he is pleased to grant us the delights of our hearts.  

School starts Monday.  And we are blessed!

Momsicles

photo from http://melssweetlife.wordpress.com/

I love popsicles because they are cheap and they make little kids happy.  :)  I have my own version for post-pubescent women, which I came up with on a whim from an iced coffee recipe.  Post-pubescent, because they contain chocolate, and everyone knows real women need chocolate.  The coffee is just thrown in for an added bonus. 

Next time you are pouring Kool-Aid (okay, juice, for you healthy people) into your popsicle molds, save one for yourself.  I keep this treasure mixed up in the fridge in a half-gallon jug:

Iced Coffee

2 C warm water

3 T instant coffee

14 oz can (1 C) fat free sweetened condensed milk

2 C milk

2-4 T chocolate syrup

Mix together and store in fridge.  Shake before pouring.

To make one tall serving, whip 1 C in blender with 5-6 ice cubes.  Sip joyfully.

Or

make Momsicles:

Pour into popsicle molds and freeze.

Indulge yourself while the kids are running around the yard

with the colored sugar-water variety.

:)

So You Think the Bible Is Boring?

WWJD?

Our city has a very nice community garden where we acquired a 10x10 plot, perfect for the family who has not grown a salad in a long time.  The kids have never had a chance to plant a seed and patiently watch for it to come up, water and weed, and finally eat the fruit of their hard labor.  We have a lovely row of lettuce, one of carrots, and one of beans.  There is a hill of bush cukes with empty space next to it for a tomato.  This won't produce enough to put up a harvest, but it will be fun to eat our own home-grown salads.  

Elisabeth is my would-be nature lover, and she REALLY wanted her own little plot. The community garden is filled up, so she went in search of a good piece of ground in the vicinity of our townhome. I was away one morning last week, and when I came home, voila! She had planted a little garden in the empty lot a block away!  She had a wonderful sense of accomplishment.  Her story is here.

Betz's garden is not visible from the road, but there is sort of a path that goes by it... and I was a little bit concerned that some vandals would find it and destroy it. They left it alone just until the baby cucumbers began to peek out of the soil, and then blam!  This evening we discovered teenage boy-size boots have clomped and kicked through the dirt, doing their best to destroy the well-beloved little garden.  :(  Don't you just wonder why some people get a kick out of destroying the nice things that other people do??  There was a bit of tearful mourning.  

Nothing like this has ever happened to my kids before, and this is a real-life test of our Christianity! The Millers or the Moodys would have made cookies for the naughty fellows and returned kindness for meanness, but we don't know who the culprits are.  What would Jesus do? And if he humanly couldn't do anything, how would he feel and react? Would he want to go knock those boys' blocks off, or would he just say, "Oh well"?  Would he plant the garden again or leave it a mess?  More important, what would be the condition of his heart?  Would this little episode serve to draw him closer to his Father? Would he be able to forgive the vandals and let this disappointment make him stronger?

It's easy to talk about turning the other cheek and all that good Beatitudes stuff, but living it is a different story.  That is a challenge for the new man.  :)

But I say unto you which hear,

Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you,

Bless them that curse you,

and pray for them which despitefully use you.

[...]

And as ye would that men should do to you,

do ye also to them likewise.

For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye?

for sinners also love those that love them.

 And if ye do good to them which do good to you,

what thank have ye?

for sinners also do even the same.

And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive,

what thank have ye?

for sinners also lend to sinners,

to receive as much again.

But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend,

hoping for nothing again;

and your reward shall be great,

and ye shall be the children of the Highest:

for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.

Luke 6:27-35

Transfer a Pattern and Keep the Larger Sizes

Lots of sewing has been going on here lately, and this is one area where I do know what I am doing. Most of the time. Enough that I could be a help to someone who doesn't know what they are doing. I have a few tips to share with beginning seamstresses, and there is a slight possibility of me starting a sewing blog... but not tonight! 

We grown ladies don't want to ever need the larger sizes when we are sewing for ourselves, but if you are sewing for a child, you probably want to be able to reuse your pattern when the child has grown. A jacket for Betz is in the works, and she is a size 14 girls. This pattern goes up to size 16, and I don't want to just cut those size 16 lines off and throw them away. If this dress and jacket combo turns out nicely, I might want to make it again sometime. This tutorial is on how to cut the smaller size of a pattern out without losing the larger sizes. 

When you are cutting out a straight seam, just fold back the pattern tissue to the right size, like so:

But for curves such as sleeves and necklines, that doesn't work. Instead, do this. Using a pencil or a water-soluble marker, dot on your fabric the cutting line you need, under the pattern piece. Start at one end of the curve and fold the pattern piece back a bit at a time, making a dot every inch or so where the cutting line meets the fold of tissue. Like so:

You may have to continue from the other end of the cutting line when you get to the deepest part of the curve:

When you finish, cut on the dotted lines.  Your cut piece is now the right size, and you can save that same pattern for a few months down the road, when your darling child has grown to the next size.

You can see I used only four pins here.  Don't go pin crazy. The more you put in to begin with, the more you will have to remove while you are marking!

This transfer method also works well to mark darts, button holes, button placement, notches, and small/large pattern construction dots. You will want to do that before you remove the pattern piece. Water-soluble marker (found in the notions section) is great, especially if the person you made the garment for is extremely anxious to wear it. :)  But because marker may become difficult to remove if you accidentally iron over it, I prefer to use pencil.

Happy sewing!

She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

Proverbs 31:13