After taking five weeks off after our first quarter, we reluctantly resumed our school schedule yesterday. (I use the word "schedule" loosely.) Back to the grind. I sooo wish I were one of those teacher-mothers who is organized and far-sighted, goal-oriented and confident. And it would be really nice if my kids loved school. But I am not, and for the most part, they don't, so here we are, doing the best we can do (??? I don't think that was a totally honest statement) as a homeschool challenged family. Any alternative would be totally unacceptable, so I am very thankful that for today, we still are at liberty to have our kids at home and to flounder along. Don't get me wrong. We don't flounder all the time. But when we do, I'm glad we have the liberty to do so.
I am not one bit worried that my girls will not be able to "socialize" properly in the Real World, or that they will be unable to balance a checkbook or live within their means or cook a good meal. What I worry about is (not really WORRY -- you know what I mean), What kind of memories are they going to have of me, their dear mother? If I could send them off to school (but I won't), I could be the nice mom who has had plenty of time to herself all day, keeps a clean house (since I would have time while they are all away), and welcomes them home with warm cookies to reward them for enduring a hard day of socialization.
INTERRUPTION -- Daughter reading over shoulder guffaws and says, "No way, you would be blogging when we left, and blogging when we got back!!" I am offended! It hope it is obvious to you that that is not true. When did I last post something here?? Except for that quick little contest entry, it was a week ago. So there.
Getting back to what I was saying. As it is, my brain is hardly functioning. I am interrupted one zillion times a day. I am unable to plan, unable to schedule meals, cleaning, or assignments -- not because of the interruptions -- I just don't know how anymore. I can't remember anything that is important. Much of the time I walk around in a mental fog of laundry, clutter, and dirty dishes. And children vying for my attention. My teen can run circles around me at the computer and on the piano. Number two shares with number three all the creativity that I didn't get in the genes. My five year old beats me hands down at SET. Is this what they are going to remember of their dear mother? That she was a bit daft, a bit out-of-control, a poor soul who often forgot to take meat our for supper?
Oh well. If I am sacrificing my mind, it is for a good cause. Right? Say I'm right. I know I'm right.
I am not one bit worried that my girls will not be able to "socialize" properly in the Real World, or that they will be unable to balance a checkbook or live within their means or cook a good meal. What I worry about is (not really WORRY -- you know what I mean), What kind of memories are they going to have of me, their dear mother? If I could send them off to school (but I won't), I could be the nice mom who has had plenty of time to herself all day, keeps a clean house (since I would have time while they are all away), and welcomes them home with warm cookies to reward them for enduring a hard day of socialization.
INTERRUPTION -- Daughter reading over shoulder guffaws and says, "No way, you would be blogging when we left, and blogging when we got back!!" I am offended! It hope it is obvious to you that that is not true. When did I last post something here?? Except for that quick little contest entry, it was a week ago. So there.
Getting back to what I was saying. As it is, my brain is hardly functioning. I am interrupted one zillion times a day. I am unable to plan, unable to schedule meals, cleaning, or assignments -- not because of the interruptions -- I just don't know how anymore. I can't remember anything that is important. Much of the time I walk around in a mental fog of laundry, clutter, and dirty dishes. And children vying for my attention. My teen can run circles around me at the computer and on the piano. Number two shares with number three all the creativity that I didn't get in the genes. My five year old beats me hands down at SET. Is this what they are going to remember of their dear mother? That she was a bit daft, a bit out-of-control, a poor soul who often forgot to take meat our for supper?
Oh well. If I am sacrificing my mind, it is for a good cause. Right? Say I'm right. I know I'm right.
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear;
but of power,
and of love,
and of a sound mind. (Amen.)
2 Timothy 1:7
but of power,
and of love,
and of a sound mind. (Amen.)
2 Timothy 1:7
I am so glad you posted this.. no sarcasm intended but I thought I was the only one who went through this.
ReplyDeleteKristy
and I do believe we share the same brain - hey! That's why neither of us can get anything done. We each only have HALF a brain! lol
ReplyDelete" This too shall pass." You are not alone - you have picked a harder path to follow in a fast track world. We all have gone through times when our brain leaves our bodies and that is OK. Don't stay disconnected for long however or Satan will enter! I am blessed with Insomnia. Yes it can be a real blessing because when I can not sleep, I get up and do the quiet things that need to be done (take out meat to defrost - dust - sew - pay bills - ect.) then I go back to bed and fall asleep for a little bit before I need to get up and get ready for work (I work full time out of the home). Yes, there are days when I am dragging and feel like I'm going to fall asleep on the computer - but most of time, I am fine and can go for a few weeks on just 2-3 hours of sleep a night. Then I sleep for 15 hours straight. It is such a blessing to have a boss who understands and allows me the time I need.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, you are doing just fine. Your children will remember a MOM who gave all she had to see that they learned the important lessons in life and a few fun facts along the way. Lynn Marie.
I think what they will remember most is a Mom that was always there for them, and that's half the battle. Just like when Jeff comes home from work, he is rarely sitting beside me, but I know he's around and that is very comforting. I feel much more secure just know he here.
ReplyDeleteThere is a lot to say for a less structured schooling style. What we know today as what school should look like has only been around for a relatively short while - and I can't say children are brighter or better off because of it, can you?
Relax, you're doing great! I'm proud to call you my friend and your children friends of our children.
I thought I was the only one like that! But I only have two children - and I don't even "school" 3 yr old Red yet.
ReplyDelete